


Godmothers

by EvaLilith



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/F, Gen, Genderbending, Genderless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-26
Updated: 2013-04-26
Packaged: 2017-12-09 13:16:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/774625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvaLilith/pseuds/EvaLilith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Them find out that Crowley and Aziraphale don't have an assigned sex. Pepper proclaims they need to try out life as women.</p><p>I do not own Good Omens or any of the characters therein.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Godmothers

It had been Pepper's idea- or rather, her insistence. Once all of the Them got their memories back regarding the almost-Apocalypse (a complicated event and a different story all together), They entered with gusto into the regular conversations Adam had with his supernatural godfathers (Aziraphale remained quite fond of the title). And since they were young adults, young human adults, sex did come up. 

"I read that angels are supposed to be sexless," Wensleydale commented. 

The Them turned their eyes to Aziraphale and Crowley. 

"It means 'genderless'," Crowley said, a little crossly. "We don't have a physical gender unless we want to." 

"So, what, you could be a girl?" Adam questioned eagerly. "Either of you?" 

"Well, yes," answered Aziraphale. "Although technically neither of us are boys- men right now." He reddened. He could feel Crowley grinning beside him. 

" _Have_ either of you been women?" Pepper said, staring at them hard. 

Crowley shrugged. "Once or twice, to tempt someone. Not for long at a time." 

"...I've been mistaken for one," Aziraphale offered. "Someone even called me a queen, once." 

There was some sniggering from the boys at this, but Pepper did not allow herself to be distracted. "Well, you ought to, then." 

Angel and demon both blinked at her. "...Why?" 

"Because you only know what it's like to be the privileged sex. You've been down here for how many thousand years and you saved the Earth because you liked it but you don't even know how people treat you when you're a woman? That's chauvinist, that is." 

The boys exchanged helpless glances with Crowley and Aziraphale over Pepper's head. She had been reading some of her mother's old books and pamphlets and she had only started wearing a bra again because Adam kept accidentally affecting the nature of causality when she didn't (much to both her chagrin and secret delight). 

"She won't stop badgering until you do it," Adam said. "Besides, it could be fun. And it's not like it'd be hard to keep people from noticing."

Crowley was about to argue on principle, but then he looked over at the angel and decided that Adam was right- this might be fun, after all. Aziraphale put up more of a fight, but Pepper was a master badgerer and so it was agreed that when they went home tonight, Aziraphale and Crowley would make some alterations to their corporations. 

They did not, however, make substantial alterations to their wardrobes, at least not at first. Antonia Crowley simply changed the tailoring on her suits a bit. After all, they were good suits, and men were intimidated by women in suits. Miss Azira Phale had herself a closet full of sweaters that were loose enough to still fit, but she did have to go purchase some new trousers to accommodate a somewhat rounder pair of hips. After a slight hesitation, she bought a skirt as well. 

And then they wanted to go to the Ritz, and Crowley suggested they take the chance to do something a little different for their formal wear. Crowley showed up at the bookshop in a slinky black dress and a pair of high-heeled snakeskin boots. She climbed out of the Bentley a little awkwardly and entered the bookshop. 

There was a long moment of silence before Crowley said "Angel, NO." 

It appeared that Aziraphale was even further behind in women's fashions than she was in men's. She was wearing a collared, long-sleeved, full-skirted, _bustled_ for someone's sake, Victorian gown in an insipid pale blue. 

Azira blinked. "What's wrong, dear?" 

Antonia rubbed her temples. Their reservation was for whenever they wanted it to be, and she wasn't going to be seen in public with that dress, even on someone else. "Stay here," she said. "I'll be right back." 

Ten minutes later, she entered the shop again, her arms full of several yards of spotless white silk. "Take that off," she said. 

Azira frowned. "...Crowley, dear, you know how I feel about manifesting things-" 

"This is the most expensive cloth I could find," Antonia growled. "If I change it into anything else, I paid _more_ than the worth of the dress and that's a win for you so shut up and get out of that dress." 

Azira blushed but did as she was told, setting her glasses on the table and slowly removing the layers of the Victorian gown. Antonia began to wrap the fabric over and around Azira. 

Azira tried not to be embarrassed, tried to convince herself that those serpent's eyes were only focused on the fall of the cloth, not on her bare pink skin. She surprised herself by being disappointed when she believed it. Finally, Antonia stopped. "Mirror," she said smugly. 

Azira looked at herself and her blue eyes widened. The dress itself exposed rather too much arm, but Antonia had added a shrug of a complimentary texture to the main dress and it was appropriately modest. The gown was pure white and shimmered, running down Azira's undistinguished form and wrapping and fluffing and rouching in all the right places. "It's beautiful," she said. _And not 'sexy'_. "Thank you, Crowley." 

Crowley shifted awkwardly. "Well, I'm the one that wanted to do something different. Let's go, shall we? It's harder to convince them we have reservations after 8."

**Author's Note:**

> A drabble created as an in-universe excuse for Aziraphale and Crowley becoming female. If I write further adventures of them in this form, they will probably be added to this as further chapters.


End file.
